I wanna be with the one I know...

I feel like I'm losing everyone.

I don't wanna talk to anyone anymore.

But my friends.

And talking on the phone & online isn't the same.

I miss being happy.

I miss having fun.

I miss looking forward to things.

The only way of venting for me now is music & this.

Writing

But it never seems to end up as perfect as I'd like.

I want hope.

I want to be happy.

So bad.

Its starting to hurt.

I hate this more than probably anything in my life.

I'm sick of people lecturing me like I'm the most dense person they've ever met.

Like they know me.

When truth be told, they know jack shit.

I miss that ecstatic feeling I'd get from hanging out with my friends.

The adrenaline rush I'd get from going out with them.

I miss basically everything at this point.

I'm truly more scared than ever.

For everything I see in my future.

Those estatic, joyful, carefree, radiant, exuberant, delightful, gratifying, glowing feelings...

only fill my head as memories.

I want it back more than anything else.