Sick of today...

sick of the heartbreak.

So sick of feeling this ache.

Scared about the decisions I make.

Or which road my life will take.

I'm sick of losing.

Wondering why things are so confusing.

Or why it turns into something amusing.

I can't take the internal bruising.

Sick of this week.

The trouble my words can speak.

I'm sorry that I tend to critique.

I just haven't learned to find the right words, that I desperately seek.

I'm sick of fighting.

I can only express these thoughts and words through my writing.

Waiting for something exciting.

Wondering what it feels like to feel the sparks igniting.

Sick of this school year.

Knowing now that the end is finally here.

I know that for you, I never made it quite that clear.

All I felt, and all I ever thought about was the fear.

I'm sick of moving on.

Having to leave behind all of those who have gone.

Lately, I just feel like everyone has withdrawn.

Awaiting another early dawn.

Right now I wish I had someone to talk to.

Someone new.

I wish I had someone who would, no matter what, always stay true.

Someone whos friendship I would learn to pursue.

I'm feeling so down, as I sit here alone.

I wonder what would have happened if you had only known.

Sooner, rather then later, the feelings I could have shown.

Maybe in the end, I wouldn't have been on my own.

So the year is finally over, its come to a close.

If you read my blog, I guess everyone now knows.

I've recently lost many people and I guess that's just the way it goes.

I guess that was just the road they chose.

I wish there was a way that I could get everyone to not leave.

But those certain things, my heart just won't learn to conceive.

I know in the end, things have to get better, I just wish I could find away to believe.

For the most part, I've realized that I'm pretty naive.

So goodbye to those people, goodbye for now, I guess.

All these things, I just had to confess.

I know its late, but right now I'm a mess.

Just don't forget, I'll love you always,

~Jess.